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People may say to you “you need more confidence” or “You’re lacking in self esteem”. Or you may be like I was, where no one would say any such thing to me, as I was very good at 
putting on a front, and appearing confident, while underneath the mask I was completely uncertain and unsure of myself. Either way, how are you supposed to get more confidence?
I guess lacking in self confidence and self esteem really means to not have faith in ourselves, be uncertain of ourselves, feel out of our depth a lot of the time. This can stop us doing what we would really like to do, make many situations uncomfortable for us, make us self conscious, effect how we behave, what we thing of ourselves, and how others see us.
I want to address building confidence and self esteem because it has such a huge influences on our overall level of Happiness. However, as I begin to plan this post, I find that I have already discussed much of this in my previous posts!
Firstly, when you decide to make changes in your life to gain more happiness, you immediately start building self esteem, for you are acknowledging that you deserve happiness in your life. You give yourself the gift to hope for more happiness in your life, and by being here looking for ways to do that, and making changes to bring more happiness, you are saying you are worthy of happiness, you have as much right to happiness as anybody else.
I have said before that Change takes courage, there are many ways in which we avoid making changes in our lives. So when you choose to try something new, to live a little differently to what you were, your grow self esteem and confidence by practicing courage, and by taking yourself out of your comfort zone – and surviving!
When you decide and live by what is important to you, as we planned by creating a Mission Statement, you become strong, confident because you feel clear about your direction and beliefs. Your Mission Statement helps give direction in your life, leading to greater confidence in all the choices you make in your life.
When you start to recognise and do something about negative influences in your life, and begin to pursue the positive influences, as was the theme of the Boundaries tutorials, you build confidence by wanting something better and expecting better for yourself, and through the effects and support of those positive people in your life. By learning how to cope with those who want to bring us down, we become resilient to their negative effects, helping us maintain our self esteem.
Just choosing the use the Meditation technique I have shown you here (or any other meditation) you giving yourself a healthy gift by taking the time to sit quietly, once again confirming to yourself that you are valuable, and deserving and worthy of self care. The chakra meditation itself helps to heal old hurts, clear out things that hold us back, get us in touch with love, and personal power. All direct pathways to greater self confidence and self esteem.
If you can learn to be a good parent to yourself, caring for yourself, making sure you make both physically and emotionally healthy choices. If you can be in touch with your emotions and cope with them, by being able to sooth yourself and mange fear and anxiety, as we did through work with the Inner Child. Then you build confidence and self esteem, for you can trust yourself to make good choices, trust your emotions wont take you over. The more you experience and practice good parenting and coping with your emotions, the greater your self confidence becomes.
When you are able to take responsibility for your actions, you take the power of choice and freedom for yourself. Through work with the Inner Child and self parenting this is what we are doing, and we are no longer victims of what happens to us, but the writers of our own life scripts. Self confidence and self esteem are naturally the by products when we experience the power and strength in our freedom to be whoever we want to be.
Through Forgiveness it is possible to let go of a lot of history that can hold us back from a more confident and self assured person. When our history has been neutralised we no longer need to see ourselves as just a product of the past. We can take hold of the future and make it anything we want, as we let go of the anchor to our past selves. That freedom brings confidence.
And finally Gratitude. Seeing the good in life, and in our own life in particular, we build self esteem and confidence. By being more outwardly positive, appreciating others in our lives, 
we build greater relationships and support, building self confidence and self esteem. And by seeing that what we are, and what we do is good, we increase self love and appreciation. We get friendly with ourselves, and become satisfied with who we are.
Therefore, the way to self esteem and self confidence is to start to make choices and changes that take care of our physical and emotional health. Ultimately, treating ourselves with respect and love, by doing all we can to promote our happiness. Our self esteem and self confidence are only our responsibility, which is great, because you have found at least one source from which to start working toward that.
Exercise:
Write in your journal about times when you notice yourself displaying more confidence and self esteem. Note when you do something that would have been uncomfortable for you before.
Meditation:
We can empower our self confidence and esteem by putting energy into our third chakra, pumping in yellow building up inner power and inner strength. Spend extra time in the heart chakra pumping in lots of green self love. And in the throat chakra, pump in blue to open up your communication to speak clearly and confidently now.
Comments:
I hope to hear comments from you about how clearing some of the baggage in your life has increased your confidence and helped you to feel good about yourself.
