Have a look at the Inner Child series to get the most of this post.
Why Forgive?
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In this series we look at why and how to go about forgiveness. In this introduction I speak about how we often hold on to old hurts and disappointments others have given us, and how bad this is for our emotional and physical health. It is hard to get happy now, if you are plagued with bitterness, resentment, anger toward someone from the past. All we need do is forgive them, and move on into our happier, healthier future.
How to Forgive.
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This video will give you some direction in finding a way to forgive those of the past who have hurt or disappointed you.
How to forgive:
- Choose a person from the past that you harbor bad feelings about, who hurt you in some way, and is a story that you keep within you.
- Find a way to look on your offender with compassion, empathy, understanding, generosity (allowing your heart to open). We use the understanding that we gathered in the Inner Child series to understand our offender, recognise the fears, anxieties, hurts and needs in them that may have driven them to behave as they did toward you.
- Forgive them once we genuinely see how they have acted as a result of their inner child’s fears, anxieties, hurts and needs.
- A forgiveness act reinforces our commitment to lasting forgiveness.
- Keep forgiving your offender over and over until it is a permanent and real feeling.
Forgiveness action:
- Tell your friends that you have forgiven your past offender, and no longer talk about the incident
- Hold a party to announce and celebrate your forgiveness, and the act of letting this old, black past go
- Write a letter of forgiveness, expressing the incident, how you have carried it around for ages, and how you have forgiven. Read it aloud to a friend (no need to deliver to your offender)
- Have a private ceremony, with candles and incense, create a little prayer, then burn some token of that time, or bury it. Or bury the forgiveness letter you may have written.
Exercise:
Forgive someone using the above method. You will need some time of contemplation, to find that compassion. Make sure you complete some act of forgiveness to give your forgiveness power and strength.
Meditation: {Haven’t started meditation yet? Click here for my meditation post}
Spend extra time in the third chakra (yellow) flushing out all the old hurts and disappointments with yellow forgiveness. Then put extra time into the heart chakra, pumping in love and forgiveness for your offender, and also extra love for you. Allowing yourself to let go of a past hurt and forgive is a very loving act for ourselves, so pump in extra love for us, as we give ourselves the gift of forgiveness and letting the past go. Use the blue throat chakra to open and clearly state to the world our forgiveness, and see the whole world hear, understand, and rejoice with you.
Comments:
Add your comments to the comments section. Tell me about how it feels to let go of the past, and the person who has hurt you. Let me know about how hard or easy it was to find a way to see them with generosity, understanding, empathy. Did you find the inner child work helped in understanding the mistakes of others? How much courage did it take to let go of the past, and allow yourself to be generous and forgive?
Forgiving our Parents.
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And last but not least, a little extra on how to forgive our parents, who perhaps were a little lacking in our childhood. As well as using the Inner Child knowledge we now have, I mention here some other ways to find some understanding, empathy and generosity for those all important elders in our lives. Remember the goal is to find a way to open our hearts to our parents, and find forgiveness, so that we can move to a brighter, happier future.
- See that our parents may have showing love to us in a way that we didn’t understand or recognise. Then we can see it has really just been a matter of lack of communication (later we will look at the 5 languages of love, and understand from that not everyone gives and receives love the same way – look out for that!)
- Our parents may have just been raising us the way they were raised. They may not have thought, or had the courage, or knowledge to raise us some other way.
- If your parent has passed, speak to others that knew them, or your siblings for their view point. You may be surprised that you view your childhood quite differently, and communicating gives you a whole new perspective.
- Look to see if there is a strength in us that our parents negative impact have effected on us. If we can acknowledge that as bad as it was, it has created something positive in you, then you may be able to be more positive toward them, and forgive.
By finding out a little more about our parents, the way they were raised, ask about their ideas of parenting, we can get more of an insight into how things went a little wrong.
Exercise:
Find a way to view your parents with love, generosity, understanding and compassion, so that you can forgive them, using the tips above.
Meditation: {Haven’t started meditation yet? Click here for my meditation post}
As above, extra yellow to get rid of old hurts and disappointments. Extra love for our parents, and whatever the struggle was they living with as they raised us. Wash it all out with love. Use blue throat chakra to speak out loud our forgiveness, empathy, understanding and compassion for our parents.
Comments:
I would love to hear some of the ways you have come to understand your parents view point that is different to what you had before. How did you go about that? How did you find out more about your parents motives if they are no longer here to speak with about it? Can you forgive? How does that feel?
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